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5 ways to make peace with your past this January

January is named after Janus, the God with two faces that looks forward and backwards.

The New Year is a time of fresh new pages, clean slates, new energy, new beginnings.  There is the feeling of possibility of new hope and, especially after the shift in consciousness of 2012, a butterfly in many of our stomachs of de-lightful and insightful anticipation.

Yet to be able to full embrace all that the year ahead offers, we must be able to be present in the now.  So how do we do that?  In a stressful  rather than being mentally dragged into worries about the future, or being locked in emotional and physical pain and discomfort because of “things that happened” in our past.

So how DO you make peace with your past?

We can begin by intending that we are going to learn from mistakes or uncomfortable situations to be able to accept, make peace with ourselves and others that participated in difficult situations in our past.  To do this takes courage yet the rewards are the beauty of new, fresh, light energy rushing in to a heart previously darkened by anger, hate or fear.  Yes it can be confronting and challenging to admin what we feel in ourselves.  What we don’t want to see are what our ego judges as “embarrassing or humiliating faults”, or maybe we were simply holding on to the past because we are scared of letting go of something or someone that had given us a sense of comfort or security..  even if things weren’t really good for us…. or for them.

So what do you need to do to let go of bitterness, frustrations and all of the other uncomfortable feelings?

Here are 5 ways to make peace with your past so that you can arise like a beautiful butterfly, spread your wings and shine this year:

1. Write a list of everything that is still “on your mind” – anything you feel uncomfortable about, have shoved under the carpet or feel angry or frustrated with.

ie: he stayed out late which was disrespectful of my feelings so I felt hurt

2. Write a list of how you want to feel – or be thinking – instead, what thoughts about each situation can help you accept it for what it is?  How can you forgive the other person – or yourself – what is the objective “truth” in each situation? (as the truth WILL set you free)

ie: he stayed out late and I have not done enough nice stuff for myself recently – so I felt jealous of him

3. If you – and only you – can be responsible for the way that you are feeling, what new years resolutions can you make for the better?  What thoughts and actions and behaviours can be new ways of thinking and acting in 2013 to help you TAKE YOUR POWER back and feel better about the situation in yourself now?

ie: I am going to the spa once per week to invest time purely in me, followed by dinner with my girlfriends because I know I deserve it and the joy it brings me will lift everyone’s spirits too!

4. Forgive yourself – and the other person – or circumstances that were out of your control.  Say sorry in your mind, with your mouth (even to the mirror or out to the sea) – and write it down to do so even more powerfully, even if you do not send the email or post it.  Claim your emotions back for yourself and your energy will stop projecting out negatively towards others.  You will feel more energised immediately – notice the difference!  Saying sorry enables you to be responsible for whatever your part in the discomfort was (even if you can’t see it!) and it will diffuse the unconscious ties that can keep triggering uncomfortable memories.

5. Appreciate your amazing life now! We are so fortunate with all we have in this world compared to so many others.  Make gratitude your daily practie, start the day with 5 things you can genuinely appreciate, your warm fire, the roof over your head, the beautiful blue skies (here in Ibiza!), dear friends who are there for you, your partner, your family, new socks, the freedom to choose where to go and how to enjoy this magical world we live in.

 

And most of all…… en JOY – live in JOY and joy WILL be with you this year….. it is that simple!

 

 

Top Tips for living in greater peace – The Art & Science of letting go 2

Top Tips for living in greater peace

The Art & Science of letting go 2

Have you had the pleasure of travelling in the remoter parts of South East Asia?

Have you experienced the peaceful presence of the peoples of Cambodia, or Thailand, Laos or Myanmar?

How inspirational it is to be in the company of peoples who, rather than having a “hot heart”and living a life fired up by emotional wrangling, come from a different cultural background where a calmer, quieter, state of mind, creates a more peaceful way of being.

For many Westerners, searching for ways to retreat from the “heat” of pressing matters and “”stressful”goals and responsibilities, yoga and meditation are offering pathways into this more peaceful state of life. Yet even with the most experienced teachers, it still requires us to transform the hot head & hearted habits through the discipline of practice. Which in itself, is both nourishing and fulfilling.

We have much to learn however, just by carefully witnessing, “modelling”if you like, the ways that Cambodians, for example, approach everything that happens in day to day life.

1* Walk quietly and gently through life – physically leave a lighter, more subtle footprint

2* Retreat from the need to be noticed all that time. Notice if you always feel the need to leave a lasting impression, Why not explore a more subtle way of just “being”in social scenarios, rather than commanding the attention of your social groups, experiment with being a “fully active listener”with as much eye-contact as you can. Enjoy the extra energy this brings.

3* Take a moment for a calm and balanced greeting before continuing conversations, this will help you get into a gentle and natural rapport which enables your communications to flow more

4* Listen to how quickly you respond to words that you feel are challenging, people that you find irritating or provocative, Retreat from the need to be right all the time. Take 3 deep breathes to consider your response before offering the most peaceful (or neural) answer. How does this transform your energy and way of feeling?

5* Keep saying thank you. For whatever comes your way. In doing so you are neutralising any antagonistic thoughts and feelings that either you or the other person may be having. It does not mean you have to agree with the other person, yet this does create a space for more positive ideas and responses to come to mind.

Find more peace of mind and body in retreats in Ibiza this winter-time….  email info@ibizaretreats.com with your request for the perfect peaceful retreat.

The Art and Science of letting go – 1

The art and science of letting go…. week 1: Accepting the truth of the moment (and loving what is)

Help pain and discomfort fall away… by letting go of wanting to make things perfect and loving what is.

Do you often feel disappointed by others behaviour?

Is your relationship rocking like a boat on stormy waters?  is it feeling exhausting, trying to stay upright?

What could you life be like if you could honestly let go of the need to be right?

What we resist persists…. the more we hold on to wanting things to be different than the way they are, the more we are fighting against the natural flow.  As we become older, our physical body exemplifies the inner-workings of our mind. When carrying a world of responsibilities on our shoulders, the tension and, eventually, more chronic pains can create blockages that hold us more permanently in that position. Life often asks us to keep the ship upright because we are afraid of change.  However, change has to happen to free the energy for new growth and transformation.  By being strong all the time, sticking up for our values and our beliefs, we can find ourselves continuing along life paths that have long since served their means.  Being able to step back from challening situations and view them as they are, creates a new space for acceptance and with this, the space to be more relaxed in our body and mind. Try this whenever you feel yourself arguing with, or against, a situation.

* Notice how much effort and energy you are putting in to holding a situation together, trying to make things perfect or pushing the bad stuff away

* Look down and imagine a circle that is a calm and peaceful colour on the floor, about 30 cm to your right.

* Now step into this circle and make the choice to physically step into a NEUTRAL zone, where there is no such thing as right or wrong and notice how you can look at this situation differently

Shifting our physicality helps us shift our mentality into a wider, clearer place.  From this clean neutral space of calm, ask yourself:

? What is more important for my wellbeing? Being happy or being right ?

? What has to happen for me to just be with what is ?

This does not mean that you have to agree with things that feel deeply wrong or insulting. Yet it does give you back your emotional space and power to be able to agree to disagree.  And notice how this step, in itself. helps you live and breathe more lovingly.  Loving yourself and your inner-being and being true to the loving force of nature that connects, at a sub-atomic level, the very essence of them, with you.

Byron Katie, author of the book Loving what is  and creator of the work, challenges you in this Youtube clip, to dare to look within and question your inner-truth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eCkglFy7TE

And why not join us to feel good about letting go by loving what is…  with Go with your Flow Yoga Retreats in Ibiza or one of our Yoga and Life Coaching Just Stop! Retreats