January is named after Janus, the God with two faces that looks forward and backwards.
The New Year is a time of fresh new pages, clean slates, new energy, new beginnings. There is the feeling of possibility of new hope and, especially after the shift in consciousness of 2012, a butterfly in many of our stomachs of de-lightful and insightful anticipation.
Yet to be able to full embrace all that the year ahead offers, we must be able to be present in the now. So how do we do that? In a stressful rather than being mentally dragged into worries about the future, or being locked in emotional and physical pain and discomfort because of “things that happened” in our past.
So how DO you make peace with your past?
We can begin by intending that we are going to learn from mistakes or uncomfortable situations to be able to accept, make peace with ourselves and others that participated in difficult situations in our past. To do this takes courage yet the rewards are the beauty of new, fresh, light energy rushing in to a heart previously darkened by anger, hate or fear. Yes it can be confronting and challenging to admin what we feel in ourselves. What we don’t want to see are what our ego judges as “embarrassing or humiliating faults”, or maybe we were simply holding on to the past because we are scared of letting go of something or someone that had given us a sense of comfort or security.. even if things weren’t really good for us…. or for them.
So what do you need to do to let go of bitterness, frustrations and all of the other uncomfortable feelings?
Here are 5 ways to make peace with your past so that you can arise like a beautiful butterfly, spread your wings and shine this year:
1. Write a list of everything that is still “on your mind” – anything you feel uncomfortable about, have shoved under the carpet or feel angry or frustrated with.
ie: he stayed out late which was disrespectful of my feelings so I felt hurt
2. Write a list of how you want to feel – or be thinking – instead, what thoughts about each situation can help you accept it for what it is? How can you forgive the other person – or yourself – what is the objective “truth” in each situation? (as the truth WILL set you free)
ie: he stayed out late and I have not done enough nice stuff for myself recently – so I felt jealous of him
3. If you – and only you – can be responsible for the way that you are feeling, what new years resolutions can you make for the better? What thoughts and actions and behaviours can be new ways of thinking and acting in 2013 to help you TAKE YOUR POWER back and feel better about the situation in yourself now?
ie: I am going to the spa once per week to invest time purely in me, followed by dinner with my girlfriends because I know I deserve it and the joy it brings me will lift everyone’s spirits too!
4. Forgive yourself – and the other person – or circumstances that were out of your control. Say sorry in your mind, with your mouth (even to the mirror or out to the sea) – and write it down to do so even more powerfully, even if you do not send the email or post it. Claim your emotions back for yourself and your energy will stop projecting out negatively towards others. You will feel more energised immediately – notice the difference! Saying sorry enables you to be responsible for whatever your part in the discomfort was (even if you can’t see it!) and it will diffuse the unconscious ties that can keep triggering uncomfortable memories.
5. Appreciate your amazing life now! We are so fortunate with all we have in this world compared to so many others. Make gratitude your daily practie, start the day with 5 things you can genuinely appreciate, your warm fire, the roof over your head, the beautiful blue skies (here in Ibiza!), dear friends who are there for you, your partner, your family, new socks, the freedom to choose where to go and how to enjoy this magical world we live in.
And most of all…… en JOY – live in JOY and joy WILL be with you this year….. it is that simple!